Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Dear Fat Acceptence Ninny

You are a moron.  Ok, maybe that's a bit harsh but it does express exactly how I feel.  I do think that people should be more tolerant of the overweight and obese.  There is no reason to treat anyone rudely or like less of a person.  I also don't think people should be given extra rights because they have issues that cause them to become morbidly obese.  Yes, some small number of people have legitimate health problems that cause them to gain weight.  Most have an issue with something more chronic.  Eating too much to avoid dealing with life.

You can't say to me "You never..." and 'You don't know what ... is like"  because I have and I do.  I know what it feels like to walk around parked cars because you don't know if you can fit between them.  To stand because you are afraid of breaking the chair.  I have been ridiculed just for daring to show my oversize body outside.  I know the humiliations.  I know the excuses. I  know the lies.  And not to offend anyone, the morbidly obese lie - a lot.  To themselves most of all.

Starts with never getting on a scale.  That means you are always the same weight you used to be.  Maybe even less since you did walk that one time last week.  Continues with avoiding mirrors and cameras.  If you don't see it, then it's not really there.  And it goes into lying about how much we eat.  I have never met someone who got to my size who was not a secret eater.  It always amazed my friends and family that I could gain weight when they never saw me eat.  Doesn't mean I didn't eat.  They just never saw it.

And you lie too.  To yourself of course, but also to other obese people.  You tell them that it's everyone else's fault they are unhappy and unable to change.  That once society accepts them the world will be perfect and they won't have to struggle.

I have never met a person who weighed over 350 who was honestly happy.  I've met overweight people who are happy, obese people who are happy, but never anyone in the upper levels of morbid obesity who is honestly happy.  The person they are most unhappy with is themselves.  They hate the way it feels to struggle to do normal things and they hate the way people look at them.  Changing society may make that part go away, but it won't fix the first.  They are still going to be unhappy with themselves and the prisons their bodies have become.  Yes, people should accept where they are - but that does NOT mean they shouldn't make some effort to try to use that as a starting point for change.  You didn't come across as someone who is supportive of a person's desire to get healthy.  Instead you ridiculed people trying to lose weight.  No, diets don't work.  But eating healthy and exercising sure do.  Your message seemed to be one of "don't bother, you're stuck like this."  I do believe that you, personally, are stuck - but that's because you don't want to be different.

I know how strong obese people really are.  It takes a lot of strength to haul that much weight around.  I know that inside every person of that weight is a powerhouse of energy and strength just waiting to be let out.  Physically it can be done.  It's the mental strength that takes some building.

And thank you for reminding me that I am still fat.  I don't think it had the effect you hoped it would.  Of course I am.  I have a long ways to go to reach my goal, but I have lost 1/3 of my total body weight.  Also, what's with that??  It's ok for you to insult a fellow fat person with the F word but a skinny person does it and it's wrong?    I have an F word for you but it contains 4 letters, not 3.  Add the word off and my thought is complete.

And to the woman who triggered this encounter, then witnessed our heated exchange.  Go for it.  Reaching for a light version of something does not mean you are weak.  It does not mean you are giving into societies ridiculous standards.  This is your choice.  Not hers, not mine.  You said it yourself, you don't want to be forced to use a scooter to shop anymore.  Wanting is the first step to having.  You want it, don't let anyone stand in your way of getting it.  Especially not someone who needs other people to be a certain way so she can justify her own behaviors.

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